This Bagel Is Illogical

(My mom and I like to tease each other in the strangest ways, with aliens being a usual one. It should be noted that I am 21 and a full time college student, and my college is about 2 blocks from home, so I live at home instead of on campus or with friends.)

Me: *continuing a story about bagels and how I scoop the cream cheese out, instead of spreading it* “You get more cream cheese. You can pace yourself more. And yet, when I do it, everyone looks at me like I’m an alien.”

Mom: “Well, that’s because you are.”

Me: *raises an eyebrow*

Mom: “I’m sorry.”

Me: “I’m an adopted alien baby?”

Mom: *nods*

Me: “Okay. What breed of alien am I?”

Mom: “I can’t tell you that until you’re older.”

Me: “I’m 21!”

Mom: “Not in alien years; you’re only 12.”

Me: “D*** it, I’m a Vulcan, aren’t I?”

Mom: “That’s why you still live at home!”