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This Apple Pie Doesn’t Fall Far From The Geometry

, , , , , , | Working | September 25, 2012

(I’m a high school math teacher. I also own a bakery, which is only open in the summer. Typically, I only hire teenagers who I’ve taught in class. That way, I don’t have to go through a lengthy interview process; I already know that they’re good workers.)

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you?”

Woman: “Yeah, I spoke to someone who said you were hiring?”

Me: “Well, we’re not hiring right now, but I can give you an application to fill out.”

Woman: “What do you mean, you’re not hiring?! I know you hired a girl just a few weeks ago!”

Me: “Yes, but all the positions have been filled. We’re a small business.”

Woman: “Listen here: I know that you hire without interviews, and I want a job right now!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Woman: “Not until I get a job!”

Me: “No. Get out.”

Woman: “You can’t treat me this way! I know the owner! I’m the owner’s sister!”

Me: “Wow, [Sister], I thought you lived in Florida! What are you doing all the way up here?”

Woman: “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

Me: “I am the owner. I’ve never seen you before in my life, and I’m sure as h*** not going to give you a job. Now get out.”

Woman: *turns white and leaves as quickly as she can*

(The best part? That fall, I had to have a parent-teacher conference with one of my students who was rude and bullied other kids. You’ll never guess who his mother was!)

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