This Apple Fell Far From Its Tree

(I am working at an elementary school for gifted children. We have a horseshoe-shaped parking lot where parents pick up their kids. At the end of the day, it’s my job to stand at the exit of the one-way and direct people ten feet to my right to the correct entrance. A woman coming to pick up her child tries to enter the wrong way. I step in front of her car. She steps on the gas and gets close enough to hit my bright orange flag that says “Stop”.)

Woman: “What the h*** are you doing? I need to pick up my daughter! Why aren’t you letting me pick up my daughter?”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a one-way. You need to back out and go the correct way.”

Woman: “You’re kidnapping my daughter! I’m going to call the police! Let me in to see my daughter!”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, we are not keeping you from your daughter. All you need to do is back up and drive a few feet to the entrance. You are trying to go the wrong way down a one way.”

Woman: “Well, how am I supposed to know which way is the right way?”

Me: “Ma’am, even if I weren’t here to tell you, there’s a sign right behind me that says ‘Do Not Enter’.”

Woman: “Well, I shouldn’t be expected to read street signs!”