This Afternoon Is Double (Standard) Potions

(I’m the sort of person who prefers to use natural remedies for minor ailments whenever possible. I do know the value of modern medicine for serious illnesses, but for example, I wouldn’t go to the urgent care center for a cold when I could drink tea, eat chicken soup and breathe in steam to help care for it. I also make my own lotions, tea blends, and so on. My mom has teased me about this my whole life, often calling them “potions” and insulting me for using them. One day she’s down for a visit and spending the night at my house.)

Mom: “I have a mosquito bite on my back, and I can’t reach it! It’s driving me crazy!”

Me: “Here, let me dab it with a little lavender oil. That usually stops mine from itching.”

Mom: “That’s stupid; it’ll never work!”

Me: “Well, then, you’re no worse off than before, right?”

(I dab on some oil. Lo and behold, the bite stops itching. Mom doesn’t say another word about it the rest of the day. But despite that, she continues to tease and/or insult me over my “potions” for years. Then my sister has a baby who comes down with pink eye. Turns out he’s allergic to the eye drops they treat it with. The doctors tell my sister my poor nephew will just have to wait out the infection. Then I get a phone call from Mom.)

Mom: “You’ll never guess what happened! Remember how I told you [Nephew] couldn’t use the eye drops for his infection? Well, your cousin came over and put two drops of breast milk in each of his eyes, put some kind of herbal rub on his feet, and now [Nephew] is SO much better! It’s amazing! He was so miserable, and now he’s laughing and his eyes look so much better.”

Me: “So when I use a ‘potion’ to fix a problem, it’s stupid and pointless, but when someone ELSE uses one, it’s great? Double standards much, mom?”

Mom: “Err, well, I mean…”

Me: “I don’t want to hear anything else about my ‘potions’ from you again.”

(She hasn’t poked fun at me since.)