Thirty’s A Crowd

Me: *Scans the customer’s last item.* “Your total is $30.12.”

The customer, probably about twelve or thirteen years old, gives me a dime, a nickel… and a $30 bill.

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “We good?”

Me: “I can’t accept this… bill.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “It’s fake.”

Customer: “How do you know?”

Me: “It’s a $30 bill. Those don’t exist.”

Customer: “If they don’t exist, how come there’s one in your hand?”

Me: “Rephrase: they don’t count as legitimate forms of currency.”

Customer: *Takes the bill back and gives me a ten and a twenty.* “Fine. My friend made it as a joke, but I wanted to see if I could use it.”

Me: “I would advise that you… Don’t? That’s incredibly illegal. I need to report this, I think.”

Customer: “Meh. I’ll just leave the bill with you. I don’t want it anymore anyway.”

The customer walks away, happy as a clam. I later tell my manager and ask him what to do.

Manager: “I’ll report it to Loss Prevention, and they’ll be on the lookout for that kid again, but I don’t think we have to worry about anyone thinking this is real, so I’m going to chalk this up to a childish prank.”

Me: “What if another cashier does think it’s real?”

Manager: “I mean, instead of a President, he’s using the scary staring meme of Samuel L. Jackson from ‘Black Snake Moan’. If a cashier thinks it’s real, I’d be more worried about the cashier…”