Third Door Blind

, , , , , | Related | December 19, 2018

(After hitting a deer and writing off the car she’d had for a grand total of a month, my mum is now a not-so-proud owner of a third-hand, three-door car. The thing about this third-hand, three-door car is that the passenger door doesn’t open from the outside; you have to open it from the inside. Why, we have no idea, but it means Mum has to lean over from the driver’s seat and open the door for me. We are heading to work this cold and frosty winter morning. My dear old mum has started the ignition and whacked on the heating so the car can defrost and she can see whilst driving. She has not yet opened the passenger door, so I am stood outside waiting and not in the warming car, on this cold and frosty winter morning. She fiddles about with her bag, and uses her inhaler, and does not yet open the passenger door. I am thus still stood outside on this cold and frosty winter morning. She fiddles with something else; I don’t really know what as I am doing the “it’s cold and frosty and I’m stuck outside” jig. She then looks at me.)

Mum: *in her snotty, grumpy voice* “Why haven’t you got in the car?! We need to go!”

(I look at her, dead in the eye, and wordlessly remove my hand from where it is tucked into my armpits for warmth and slowly pull on the passenger door handle as one would do to open it. Naturally, since the passenger door handle doesn’t want to BE a door handle, it does nothing. I raise an eyebrow at her. We share a look, and she leans over and opens the door from the inside and I get into the nice toasty car)

Me: *completely deadpan* “It’s a tad chilly out there.”

Mum: *giggling* “Can I blame old age? I’m blaming old age.”

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