Third-Degree Burns, First-Degree Idiot

(I’m working the evening shift at a hotel with the owner one evening when a young couple, who checked in earlier, approaches the desk.)

Young Man: “Would it be possible to get a slice of cheesecake and some matches for a candle? We’re celebrating her birthday today.”

Me: “Sure thing, and happy birthday to you.”

(I prepare the cheesecake and grab some matches, and they then go to their room. About five minutes later, they come back with his arm wrapped in a shirt.)

Young Woman: “We need directions to the nearest hospital. He has burned his arm. There is also a little bit of smoke in the room, currently.”

(The owner gives them directions to the local hospital and sends me up to check on everything. When I get to the floor, I see some smoke in the hallway. Then, I open the door to find the room is barely visible due to there being so much smoke in the room. I go get the owner as the fire alarm starts to go off. Everyone evacuates the building and the fire department shows up as we are trying to clear all the smoke out.)

Me: “All this from one candle? What did they do, drop the cake?”

Owner: “Actually, it turns out the ‘candles’ they were using were actually sparklers. Not a good idea in a small room.”

(We found out later he had to be taken to a burn hospital and treated for third-degree burns.)