Thinks He’s Being Coot

(I’m on the bus, holding an iced coffee in a translucent cup that clearly shows that I’ve already drunk half of it. Out of nowhere, a guy I’ve never met comes up, takes a look at my beverage, and addresses me.)

Guy: “Hey, can I have a drink of that coffee?”

(I’m dumbfounded at this question and am unsure if he’s serious, but I manage to come up with an appropriately snarky response.)

Me: “As you can surely see, it’s already got my cooties in it, which I doubt you’d want.”

(Thankfully, he takes the hint and leaves me alone after that.)