Think Themselves Above Your Radio Station

, , , , , | Related | July 29, 2018

(My wife and I moved in together a little over six months after we started dating, when we announced our engagement. The big day’s finally almost here, and family is assembling, including my very religious sister, who cares for neither my atheism nor the fact that my wife and I have been living together. I pick my sister up from the airport, and immediately after she gets into the car, she changes the radio station to the local Christian music station.)

Me: “What on earth are you doing?”

Sister: “Here, you should listen to this.”

Me: *hitting a preset station* “No, thank you. I prefer metal.”

Sister: “You would.” *turns it back* “No, really, you should listen to this. It’s so inspiring.”

Me: *hitting the button again* “Driver picks the tunes. How do you not know this by now?”

Sister: *changing the station again* “Yes, but you need to listen to this. We all know you’re only getting married because you made a bastard.”

(I turn off the radio, detach the face, and throw it in the back seat.)

Me: “We announced this date a year ago. If [Wife] were pregnant, you’d know by now.”

(We drove to the hotel in silence, I asked my mother to keep my sister in line. I found out after the ceremony that my sister tried to stand up during the “if anyone has any reason why these two should not be wed” bit, but Mom told her off before anyone noticed. Apparently, she felt that since we weren’t getting married in a “real” church, we were lying to God. My sister and I no longer talk.)

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