Things Just Got Deep

, | NJ, USA | Friendly | November 13, 2014

(I’m hanging out in a fast food place with a couple of friends, and we’re discussing singing.)

Friend #1: “Now, take [My Name] here. He can’t sing at all.”

Me: “Oh, that’s nonsense. I can sing just fine. I just have a very low register, so most lead vocals are outside my range.”

Friend #2: “Oh, yeah? What can you sing?”

Me: “Mostly death metal, and male Disney villain songs.”

Friend #1: “Oh, YEAH, I’d love to hear that! How long until you’re warbling and cracking off-key?

Me: *not missing a beat before jumping out of my chair* “DON’T YOU DISRESPECT ME, LITTLE MAN! Don’t you derogate, or deride! You’re in MY world now, not YOUR world! And I’ve got friends on the other side!”

Table Behind Us: *in unison* “He’s got friends on the other side!”

Me: “That’s an echo, gentlemen. Just a little something I picked up in Louisiana. A parlor trick, don’t worry!”

(At that point my friends were sitting there with jaws open and the table that randomly jumped in was laughing their heads off. I bought them a round of desserts and called it their ‘commission’!)

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