Thief Should Have Wised Up And Smelled The Coffee

(I customer walks in, and we both exchange our hellos. A few minutes later I see the guy quickly look at me from my peripheral vision. Thinking it is kind of odd, I slowly tip-toe towards him and see him walk the opposite way around my counter, holding something below the counter’s height so I can’t see it. I start to walk backwards as he is quickly making his way to the doors, and then the alarm goes on. This guy is holding a big a** Tassimo coffee maker. Here’s how you know he isn’t a good thief, because he stops to have a conversation with me.)

Thief: “Hey, so where’s the uh… the um… the coffee or whatever that goes with this.”

Me: “Put the Tassimo on my counter and I’ll show you.”

(He reluctantly puts it down, and I bring him to the coffee that is right above the Tassimo maker he is trying to take.)

Thief: “Oh, right, that’s cool.”

(He grabs a handful of random ones and we walk over to my counter. He puts the coffee on the Tassimo machine box. He is patting his coat pockets pretending to feel around for his wallet.)

Thief: “Hmm, well, I forgot my wallet. I’ll be right back.”

Me: *I smile* “No you won’t,”

Thief: *looks at me, saddened* “You’re right.”

(He did end up coming back a few weeks later trying to steal a lamp but luckily I was working and he ended up with nothing.)