They’re Useful For Clawing Creeps

(I have long fingernails that usually have artwork on them. A guy about 20 years my senior comes up to me when I’m reaching for an item on a shelf.)

Guy: “Wow, I really love your nails!”

Me: “Oh, thank you.”

Guy: “I hope you have someone who appreciates what those nails can do!”

Me: “Uh, I do.”

Guy: “Does he treat you like a princess? Because if not, I know of someone who will.”

Me: “Oh, he does.”

Guy: “Do you suppose we could clone you?”

Me: “Uh…I don’t think the world needs more than one of me.”

Guy: “I guess it would be unethical. Well, bye now! You take care of those nails!”

(He walks off. I go to find my boyfriend and stay with him until we’re done shopping.)