They’re Nun The Wiser

(I am 15 years old and my family has just moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere. We are Jewish but the only high school in town is a Catholic school. It is a typical Canadian Catholic school: AKA identical to public school but with mandatory theology classes which cover every major religion and some ancient mythology. My uncle comes over to visit and is a little concerned…)

Uncle: “So, you’re Catholic now. What is it like?”

Me: “Uh… I’m Jewish.”

Uncle: “You still didn’t convert?!”

Me: “No! Why would I do that?!”

Uncle: “I thought you were going to Catholic school now.”

Me: “You don’t need to be Catholic to attend. They have to accept all religions.”

Uncle: “Really? I wonder what the nuns think of that.”

Me: “What nuns?”

Uncle: “The ones teaching your classes. Do they try to drill religion into your skull every chance they get?”

Me: “First of all, I have been going to that school for three months and I have never seen a nun. Second, they’re not allowed to talk about religion outside of the theology classes, which teach the basics of all religions and occasionally mythology.”

Uncle: “Sooo… who teaches your classes?”

Me: “Teachers.”

Uncle: “No nuns and no religious restrictions…? How is Catholic school different from public school?”

Me: “Very expensive uniforms and extra homework.”