They’re In Three Fall

(I work in a BBQ restaurant that has a limited menu. One thing we offer is a plate, which can come with 1/3 pound of one, two, or three different meats. Most customers realize that the total amount of meat doesn’t change, but every once in a while someone gets confused and think that a three-meat has more meat than a one meat. This occurs one night while I am running register. The manager I am working with at the time is 18, but appears younger.)

Customer: “Hello, I would like the three-meat plate, with all brisket.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, the three-meat plate doesn’t actually include more meat than the one-meat plate, so it would actually end up being the same.”

Customer: “You must be new, because the three-meat plate has three times as much meat as the one-meat plate. I would know; this is the third time I’ve eaten here and that’s what I’ve always gotten.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I’ve been working here for three years and eating here ever since I can remember. The three-meat plate has never had more meat than the one-meat plate. If you want—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No, you f****** idiot, the three-meat plate has three times the meat. Now give me what I ordered, you stupid child.”

Manager: “Ma’am, please don’t talk to me like that. As I was saying, if you would like you could purchase a pound of the brisket and some sides, which would equal the same amount of meat that would be on three plates.”

Customer: “NO! I ordered the three-meat and that’s what I want. Do it or I’ll talk to your manager and get you fired!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I am the manager, and what you are wanting is not possible. I could give you a pound of brisket and some sides, or I can give you a plate and an extra 2/3 a pound of brisket, but I will have to charge you for it.”

Customer: “You ignorant little a**! I’ll have you know, I know the owner and I’ll have you fired for this!”

(I decide that I need to step in since she causing a scene and making our other customers uncomfortable. Since she obviously is unfamiliar with our policy, I make the assumption that she doesn’t really know the owner and tell a small half-lie.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you know the owner, then you would know that she would never let you treat her employees like this.”

Customer: “Shut up, you little b****, or I’ll have you fired, too!”

Me: “I really don’t think my mom would fire me, honestly. Now, you can take one of the options he has offered, or you can leave. Or I can call the police. It’s your choice, ma’am.”

Customer: “The menu says three-meat, and that’s what I’ll get. I’ll ruin your reputation!”

Me: “Ma’am, if the three-meat plate had three times the meat, it would be three times the price.”

(She stammered for a minute before storming out, slamming the door on the way out and shattering the glass. We called the police and sued for damages.)