They’re Heavily Coffinated

I work in a funeral home. A couple walks in and starts browsing some coffin styles we have on the wall. We’re usually appointment only, so I go to help them.

Me: “Can I help you find anything?”

The couple looks at me, and then they go back to the coffins. The woman gets out a measuring tape.

Woman: “We need one that’ll fit him.”

She points at the man and then starts measuring some of our coffins.

Me: “Oh! Well… uh… these are just display models. We can have them made to other specifications, of course, but they’re designed to fit… most people.”

Woman: *Pointing at the man again* “Well, he’s very tall! We need to make sure.”

This man is indeed about 6’7″.

Woman: “Could he get in one, so we could test it?”

Me: “Uh… that’s not usually… I mean…”

Woman: “And if it doesn’t fit, how long until we can get one made for him? We don’t have long.”

Me: *Looking at the man* “Oh… I… I am so sorry, sir.”

Man: “Sorry about what?”

Me: “About… about what you’ll be needing the coffin for.”

Man: “It’s for a Halloween party. I’m going to be Dracula!”

Me: “I… am going to get my manager.”

I got my manager to sort them out because I didn’t have “couple wants to spend thousands on a real coffin as a prop for a Halloween party” on my bingo card for crazy customers that day.