They’ll Let Just Anyone Move In These Days

I’m a teenager walking my dog, and I pass [Man #1], who is black, washing a Mercedes and an Audi, and [Man #2], who is white, smoking. I turn then and see what appears to be moving trucks, and I choose to go see if the new neighbors are there to introduce myself. As I do so, a car pulls up near the house and a woman gets out.

Me: “Hi! Are you moving in?”

Woman: “Hi! Yes, I just came to check on the person moving out and check on the house.”

Me: “Oh, that’s cool. Well, I’ll see you around, then!”

My dog and I do our rounds through the neighborhood and come back. I see the two men again, and the new woman. The woman spots [Man #2].

Woman: “Is smoking allowed in this neighborhood?”

Man #2: “Yes, safely on your own property.”

The woman scoffs and then turns and sees [Man #1] washing his cars. I have begun walking away at this point when I hear a screech. I turn around in terror to see the woman screaming at [Man #1].

Woman: “WHO DID YOU STEAL THOSE FROM?”

Man #1: “Nobody. I bought these with my own money.”

Woman: “NO, YOU DIDN’T! PEOPLE LIKE YOU CAN’T AFFORD THOSE CARS!”

Me: “Yes, he did. I see him washing them every day!”

Woman: “SHUT UP! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG AND NAIVE TO UNDERSTAND”

Me: “Ma’am—”

Man #2: *Cutting me off* “Would you like to call the police?”

Woman: “YES!”

I was confused, but the two men exchanged a look with each other, and I realized something was up, so I kept quiet. The cops showed up and they asked for documents and security footage, which [Man #1] happily handed over. [Man #2] even had his own security footage.

The shock on the woman’s face when she was proven wrong was priceless.