They Will Have No Hand In This

(I pop into my friend’s house to give her something. My friend is talking to their dad.)

Friend: “Tell [My Name] what you just told me.”

Dad: “No.”

Friend: “He just said to me, ‘I’ve had to change what I hand I use to wipe my bum with. It’s very weird.'”

(I had to leave straight away without saying anything before I lost it!)