They Were All In A Vegetative State

, , , , , | Working | March 8, 2019

(I go to a popular fast food place for a burger and soda, and I decide I’m hungry enough for a side salad, too. I place my order at the kiosk, get my drink, and wait. I’m the only person in the lobby, so I expect it to go quickly, and my burger is finished in a minute or so. Then, a problem:)

Worker #1: “Hey, [Worker #2], can you check if we have salads?”

Worker #2: “What’s a salad?”

Worker #1: “Ha.”

([Worker #1] goes on to another task and [Worker #2] heads back to where I assume salads are stored. He comes back empty-handed and starts looking at posters above the food station that seem to have instructions on how to make various sandwiches. A drive-thru order comes in, and he starts working on that. I note the time, because I’m curious how long this will take. After seven minutes, [Worker #1] looks over, and then looks at the completed food.)

Worker #1: “Where’s the salad?”

Worker #2: “No one ordered a salad.”

Worker #1: “Yeah, I told you. Look.” *points to order display*

Worker #2: “I’ve never made a salad.”

Worker #1: “You don’t make them; just go get one.”

([Worker #2] disappears again, and then once again reappears empty-handed when a drive-thru order comes in. Both workers studiously avoid looking at me the entire time. At the twelve-minute mark, the manager comes out.)

Manager: “Hey, what’s this lady waiting on?”

Worker #1: “Uh…”

Worker #2: *shrugs*

Me: “Just a side salad.”

Manager: “Go get her a side salad!”

Worker #1: “I don’t know where they are.”

Worker #2: *shrugs*

Manager: “Oh for the love of— They’re in the fridge right there!”

(I finally got my salad, and my burger was still warm. I probably should have been annoyed it took so long, but it was the funniest thing I’d seen in a week. I get that people probably don’t get salads at this fast food place often, but, “What’s a salad?” killed me.)

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