They See Me Enrollin’, They Hatin’

(I recently applied to a local college. According to the application and confirmation email, I was supposed to wait for a letter in the mail. A month later (and creeping up on the application deadline) I have heard nothing. I decide to call the college to get more information, since there is no contact email or phone on either the application or email.)

Me: *calls specific college campus I applied to*

Robot: “Welcome to [College]! If you’re calling for…”

(It goes through a list of options. I select “Enrollment Services.”)

Robot: “For Enrollment services, press…”

(It goes through another list. I again select “Enrollment Services.”)

Robot: “For Enrollment services at [Campus Location], press…”

(It goes through a list of all the campuses, from which I had thought I’d already called the direct line. I select my campus location. After this, I’m routed to an operator.)

Operator: “Where would you like to go?”

Me: “I was hoping to get to Enrollment Serv—”

(Before I can even finish, I get redirected and put on hold for twenty minutes.)

Customer Service Rep: “Hi, this is Enrollment Services. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi, I—”

Customer Service Rep: “Sorry—” *something unintelligible* “—just flew through the window. Please hold.”

(I’m put on hold for about five minutes.)

Customer Service Rep: “Hi, thank you for holding. How may I help you?”

Me: “Well, I applied about a month ago, and I was told to wait for my letter, but—”

Customer Service Rep: “You don’t actually have to wait for you letter. You actually just log in and check your status and start getting prepared for registration.”

Me: “I had hoped as much, but I’ve tried logging in. It keeps telling me I’m not registered.”

Customer Service Rep: “Well, I can help you reset your password. Just go to [Website].”

(As soon as I get there…)

Customer Service Rep: “Sorry—” *something unintelligible* “—just flew through the window. Please hold.”

(I’m on hold for another five minutes.)

Customer Service Rep #2: “What do you need?”

Me: *surprised* “Oh, well, I was in the middle of a password reset…”

(I give her all my information so she can locate my account. She resets my account, but just to be sure, I ask her to confirm my username. I had created one for the application, and used an email address, but neither of those had come up as registered the several times I’d attempted to log in previously. The confirmation email had no information whatsoever.)

Me: “I’m sorry, just to be sure, is this account attached to [email]? I tried using it as a username, but it didn’t take.”

Customer Service Rep: *pauses for a bit and continues incredibly nastily* “No, it’s [completely different username that I had not been provided with]. Have a nice day.” *hangs up*

(I assume that the username would have been in the letter I never received, but now I’m a little afraid of attending this college. I had been incredibly calm and apologetic the whole time, bounced all over the place, and still the CSRs had acted like I was a giant drag.)