They Refuse To Meat You In The Middle

, , , | Right | January 22, 2019

(I am sixteen years old, working on the delicatessen counter. A lady comes over.)

Customer: “Hello there. Can you show me your beef joints?”

Me: “Sure. Right this way, ma’am.”

(I leave my station to head ten feet away to the raw beef. In the meantime, an 80-year-old woman approaches the deli.)

Me: “So, ma’am, these are all our beef joints.”

(The deli bell rings.)

Customer: “I want a bigger one.”

Me: “I apologise, but this is, unfortunately, all we have.”

(The deli bell rings again.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but I must tend to my station. Please, will you excuse me?”

Customer: “Don’t you walk away. I want a large beef joint!”

(The deli bell rings again, while the woman ringing stares at me.)

Me: “I’m extremely sorry, but I cannot help anymore; this is all our stock and I can’t summon more at will!”

Customer: “I will be speaking to someone cleverer than you.”

(I return to my usual deli workstation, as she wanders away, moaning about my intelligence! I return to the old lady who has been ringing.)

Me: “Hello there! Sorry for your wait; how can I help you?”

Old Lady: “You know, I have a good mind to walk away from you!”

Me: “I’m very sorry; however, I—“

Old Lady: “It was extremely rude of you to leave me unattended. You’ve cost your company money you know!”

Me: “Oh, well, I’m extremely sorry I couldn’t sell you anything today. Have a lovely weekend.”

Old Lady: “But I still want my sandwich meat!”

Me: “Oh, I’m very glad, ma’am. What can I get you?”

Old Lady: “A single slice of your [cheapest ham], thank you!”

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