They Put The Dummy In Crash Test Dummy
I’m leaving a parking lot and need to make a left turn on the road. I look left, see that the nearer lane is empty, but there’s a woman stepping into the crosswalk. I look to the right and see that traffic in the far lane is backed up all the way to a curve down the way a bit. Pondering if it might be quicker to just turn right and loop around some back roads, there’s suddenly a very soft thump in front of me. I look, and the lady from the crosswalk has just laid her top half down on my hood. I put the car in park, roll down my window, and lean my head out.
Me: “Are you okay?”
She suddenly pops her head up.
Lady: “YOU HIT ME!”
She couldn’t even bother pretending to put on an “I’m so hurt” voice or feign being in pain! The nerve! The laziness! She also didn’t sound like she was any sort of drunk, high, or otherwise impaired.
Me: “I absolutely did not. My foot’s been on the brake for about a minute now, waiting to get out of here.”
Lady: “GOOD LUCK PROVING THAT!”
I lift my finger and point at the dash-cam stuck to my windshield.
Me: “This records video AND sound. You want to try again?”
Her response was to press her face against my hood and rub back and forth to smear her makeup all over it before stomping off. Yes, that sure showed me!
