They Need Adult Help

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(I work in a bank call centre, where customers call in to report unrecognised transactions on their accounts. This customer has a joint account with her husband.)

Customer: “There are all these payments that made no sense to me.”

Me: “Ah, yes, I can see. These are all on your husband’s card, and the company they’re going to processes payments for adult entertainment. Does your husband ever use this?”

(You can imagine how common this is.)

Customer: “What’s that, dear? Adult…”

Me: “Adult entertainment.”

Customer: *to husband in background* “Do you use adult… something?”

(She genuinely seems to not know what it means.)

Husband: “No, I’ve actually never used that card for anything since I got it.”

(I proceed to file a claim against the payments.)

Me: “And would you like us to keep you updated on this via text message?”

Customer: “Ooh, yes, that would be great!”

Me: “Great, can I take a mobile number?”

Customer: “Oh, no, dear, we’ve just got the landline.”

Me: “You don’t have a mobile?”

Customer: “No, dear.”

Me: “Okay, so, we wouldn’t be able to send a text.”

Customer: *again sounding genuinely surprised* “Oh! Okay.”

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