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They Mowed Themselves Right Over

, , , , , , | Legal | November 17, 2021

I catch someone stealing a lawn mower from my neighbour’s garden. By the time I get downstairs, the guys have run off and to their van parked around the corner.

I run next door.

Me: “[Neighbour], someone’s stolen your lawnmower!”

Neighbour: “What?! They got into the garage?”

Me: “No, I saw them take it from your garden.”

Neighbour: *Suddenly calm* “Oh, that one.”

Me: “I managed to get part of their licence plate. Sorry, they were too fast.”

Neighbour: “Oh, don’t worry yourself. Thanks for keeping an eye out.”

Me: “You don’t seem that bothered.”

Neighbour: “Well, I just bought myself a new one. The one they stole barely runs and has a fuel leak. The only part of it worth anything was the sticker that my grandkids ‘decorated’ it with. I’ll report it, but they probably did me a favour.”

He reported it to the police and they came round to see me after a few days. They pulled over a van for no tax and the lawnmower was in the back. The thieves said they “found it,” but with my description, they were able to be charged.

[Neighbour] got a bit of an insurance payout, as the thieves damaged it even more when stealing it. Last I heard, [Neighbour] was going to buy his grandkids a toy lawn mower for when they visited, which seemed very fitting.