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They Make Decaf, You Know

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: Uncle_blazer71 | May 11, 2021

I work as a barista at a local coffee shop. We have a regular who is the WORST. She is the type of lady who complains about food/drinks just to try to con us out of free stuff. For example, she’ll order a sandwich with four extra pickle spears and get irate when we try to charge her extra for them. She always has an issue with EVERYTHING she orders.

[Regular] comes in every day and orders the same drink: a large mocha latte. I take her order every day and make her drink every day.

One fateful — incredibly busy — morning, she comes in, orders her usual, and sits down. There is a line of maybe fifteen people and I have one other coworker behind the bar with me. I make [Regular]’s drink as quickly as possible, take it to her, and go back in the weeds.

A few minutes later, I see [Regular] hovering toward the front of the line and I know today is gonna be the day.

Me: “[Regular], everything okay?”

Regular: “No, this tastes too strong today. How many espresso shots are in it?”

Me: “Sorry about that, large lattes always have three shots.”

Regular: *Looking mortified* “OH, NO! I ordered this with only two shots. I’m going to need you to remake this.”

Me: “[Regular], I’ve been taking your order every day for six months. You’ve never once asked for only two shots. I can remake it for you, but you’ll have to pay for it.”

Regular: “Well, my doctor said I can’t have this much caffeine. I only wanted two shots and I demand you make this right! And I will not be paying for it.”

I am super sympathetic to people with special health concerns and requests. Of course, I would never want to serve anyone anything that would make them sick. But I know [Regular], and I know she’s full of s***.

Me: “So, your doctor said two shots of espresso is fine?”

Regular: “Exactly.”

I grab her cup from her, take it over to the sink — in plain view of her and the growing line of customers — and proceed to dump exactly one-third of her latte down the drain. Then, I put the lid back on and hand it back.

Me: “Should be safe to drink now. Have a good one!”