They Make A Mockery Of Muggery

(I work the night shift. Two men in their twenties enter the store. They’re wearing saggy pants, and all the works. They look like they’ve been in a fight, as one has a black eye and a split lip, and the other has a swollen cheek and a nosebleed. Immediately they start harassing me, making lewd innuendos, and generally being obnoxious. Another customer walks in and spots them.)

Customer: “You again? How many times am I going to have to beat the tar out of you tonight?”

(Both men turn around, take a good look at the customer, turn pale, and leave without another word.)

Me: “What the f*** just happened?”

Customer: “They tried to mug me about two hours ago.”