They Knowingly Made Themselves Unknowing
I work for a pet food manufacturer. We make cat food sachets that are available in singles, a pack of six, or a multi-pack of twelve.
Me: “[My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi. My cat only eats [specific flavor] of your multi-packs, but I couldn’t see it at the shop so I bought the wrong one that has [six other flavors] in, and my cat won’t eat half of it. What are you going to do for me?”
Me: “You… intentionally bought the wrong food, knowing your cat wouldn’t like it?”
Customer: “No! No, I did not ‘intentionally’ buy it. I was forced, because you weren’t selling the multi-pack I wanted with the flavors I wanted!”
Me: “Well, couldn’t you buy the singles or even the six-pack?”
Customer: “You expect me to buy those? They are more expensive!”
Me: “All right… Well, in most cases we can’t do much — you have just told me you knowingly purchased the wrong food — but I will see what I can do for you.”
Customer: “I TOLD YOU, I DIDN’T ‘KNOWINGLY’ BUY ANYTHING! YOU FORCED ME, BECAUSE [Small, Obscure Shop out of the roughly 500,000 shops we supply to] DIDN’T HAVE [one specific flavor] FOOD! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!”
Me: “SIR! Sir, I am going to have to ask you to calm down. I understand your position, and I am going to speak with management to see if there is something we can do for you, like an exchange, but I need to clearly state that you intentionally bought the wrong food, and if this were to occur again in future, I would not be able to assist you, as this is not an error on our behalf where the packaging was mislabeled or the wrong product was packaged. You have received the correct product that you intended to purchase. Please, in future, do not do this again. I will contact you further once I receive the go-ahead from management.”
How is buying twelve sachets where half are wrong cheaper than buying six correct sachets? Luckily, I was in need of sachets for product giveaways, which was the only reason we were able to do an exchange. Also, he then said he had bought about five boxes, so that’s about thirty sachets that were “wrong” that he intentionally purchased.
Question of the Week
What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?