They Just Saved Someone’s Bacon

(A couple of friends and I are having a girl’s night and stop at a well-known fast food place to get something to eat. As we pull in we note a fire truck idling outside. Since I am in the testing phase of my EMT certification, I know it is just a standard dinner run, not an emergency. We are lining up right behind a large group of firefighters, all covered in soot and sweat.)

Friend #1: *loudly* “I smell bacon…”

(The rather pungent firefighter in front of us turns slightly towards us.)

Me: “Uh, well, you know they have bacon on a lot of their stuff here.”

Friend #2: “I can’t really smell anything. My nose is all stuffed up.”

Friend #1: “They must be making a lot of bacon because it smells really strong out here.”

(The guy in front of me frowns slightly and I’m stifling a fit of giggles by this point.)

Friend #1: “D***, now I want something that has bacon.”

(I lean in and whisper so only [Friend #1] and [Friend #2] can hear.)

Me: “There are firefighters in here…”

Friend #1: *whispering, too* “Yeah, but they’re not that cute.”

Me: “No, you don’t get it. There are firefighters here. They just got off a call.”

Friend #2: “How can you tell?”

Me: “See the guy in front of us? Notice the soot on the back of his neck? It’s all over his face, too.”

Friend #1: *suddenly mortified* “That’s not bacon that I smell…”

Friend #2: *holding back giggles*

Me: “No. That is the manly smell of a firefighter’s sweat after he put out a fire.”