They Jager Bombed

(I work at the student union at my university. We open up the bar at 10:30 am and almost immediately a group of people comes in. It turns out that they are from another local university and they’ve been drinking all night and somehow stumbled into our bar.)

Customer #1: “What’s your name, mate?”

(I’ve grown a bit sick of them because they keep asking for free or discounted alcohol. What I have forgotten is that I am wearing my sports jacket because it is cold; it has my name embroidered on the lapel.)

Me: “I don’t have a name.”

Customer #1: “Really?”

Me: “Yep.”

Customer #2: “I think he’s lying; I think his name is [My Name].”

Me: “Nah, it’s not.”

(This conversation continues for a while before they order an insane amount of jager bombs. Not long after this my manager goes over and talks to them; I assumed it’s to inform them that they’re not being served anymore because they are plastered.)

Manager: “That lot has had too much; don’t serve them any more booze.”

(They immediately come up and try to order.)

Customer #1: “Oi! Can I buy [number of drinks]?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer #1: “What? Why not?”

Me: “Because my manager told me to cut you off.”

Customer #1: *to [Customer #2]* “Did you hear that?”

Customer #2: “Yeah! You’re a d**khead!”

(The two of them proceed to chant this at me. I look at them, smile, and give them a double thumbs-up.)

Me: “Cool story, bro! Needs more dragons, though.”

(This stunned them into silence and as I walked away, laughing my a** off, I could hear the two of them demanding to know what I was talking about and what I meant by dragons. I was laughing for a good ten minutes!)