They Have No Filter In The Tank Or In Life

Caller: “I got a tank from your store but the filter isn’t working.”

(This is a common issue with the kits, but for most, it’s no more than a minor inconvenience.)

Me: “Okay, did you purchase the starter kit?”

Caller: *sounding irritated* “What do you mean, ‘starter kit’? No one told me I need a starter kit? They sold me the tank and that’s it!”

Me: “The starter kit means that the aquarium comes with all accessories. Did the filter come with the tank or was it purchased separately?”

Caller: “I got it with the tank. I just said I got the tank from your store.”

Me: “Okay. We can replace your filter with a receipt in store.”

Caller: “What? It’s a full tank. How am I supposed to bring a full tank in? This is ridiculous.”

Me: “No, ma’am, you’d just need to bring the filter with proof of purchase.”

Caller: “No, you need to tell me how to set it up so it works right now.”

Me: “It just needs to be placed in the tank with water up to the fill line and plugged in. With all due respect, it’s pretty hard to mess up. If it’s not working it’s probably a faulty motor and we can replace it for you.”

Caller: “Fine, but I’m never buying anything from you guys again! Now all my fish are going to die!”