They Got Owned

(I work in a very affluent part of town at a very well-known clothing store. The owners are known around town and come into the store very often. We get a lot of wealthy and prominent customers who are used to getting what they want, no matter what. Because of this, we try do everything we can to satisfy them the best we can.)

Me: “Hello there, can I help you with anything today?”

Customer: “Yes, I am looking for [item], and I need it in this size.”

Me: “Okay! Let me go check for you. I’ll be back in a moment.”

(Meanwhile, one of the owners walks in and starts talking to my manager.)

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t happen to have that item in stock. I can check another store for you if you like, and we can ship it to you free of charge.”

Customer: *screaming* “THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE! I WANT THIS ITEM NOW! I KNOW YOU HAVE IT SOMEWHERE!”

Me: “I am very sorry, ma’am, but we do not have that item. We don’t have it in any sizes. We unfortunately sold out. But I can call a few of our other stores and get it shipped to you.”

Customer: “NOT ACCEPTABLE! I WANT THIS NOW!”

(She sees another customer who is wearing what she wants. This ‘customer’ just happens to be the owner.)

Customer: “This is the item I want. GIVE IT TO ME!”

Other Customer/Owner: *winks at me*

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you cannot ask this customer to give you his shorts. I can check another store for you though.”

Customer: “No! I want his shorts!” *turns to the owner* “Give me your shorts! I know the owner personally. He says I can do whatever I want!”

Other Customer/Owner: “Oh, I had know idea that you knew the owner. What’s his name?”

Customer: “Um, his name is Paul! Now give me the shorts!”

(Meanwhile, a few other customers and the manager walk over to see the fuss.)

Other Customer/Owner: “Huh, that’s weird. My name isn’t Paul. Welcome to my store. Now, get out before I press charges.”

Customer: *freezes and runs out of the store*

(I unfortunately didn’t get a raise. I’m only a seasonal employee, but I did end up being able to get a huge discount on clothes for the rest of my life and I even got to pick out a few outfits free of charge!)