They Finally Got The Message

(It’s my sophomore year at college, so I’m out of the dorms. When I lived there my freshman year, everybody was required to have a land line in their room, even if you only used your cell phone. My roommate and I never used it, so we just silenced the thing and kept it out of sight the whole year. At a party, I start talking to two freshmen that I have just met.)

Freshman #1: “Man, I can’t wait to move out of the dorms and into an apartment like you.”

Me: “It’s pretty awesome, but my time back in [Dorm Name] was pretty fun too.”

Freshman #1: “You were in [Dorm Name] also? That’s where we live!”

Freshman #2: “Yeah, what room were you in?”

Me: “[Room number].”

Freshman #1: “Crazy! That’s the room we’re in! Wait, are you [My name]?”

Me: “Yeah, how’d you know who I was?”

(Suddenly one of the freshmen sucker-punches me in the stomach!)

Me: “What the h*** was that for?!”

Freshman #1: “That’s for never deleting your voicemail!”

Freshman #2: “Your mom left close to 200 freaking messages!”

Freshman #1: “And we had to delete them all, one by one!”

Freshman #2: “To make it worse, we had to listen until the end of each f****** one before we could delete it, too! It took us a whole weekend to wipe the whole inbox, you f***!”

(At this point they walk away, and I don’t see them again. Curious, I call my mom the next day, and she told me that she would always call the land line first, then my cell phone. I never knew the whole time!)