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They Don’t Give You A Badge For That

, , , , , | Right | June 6, 2019

(I am a senior patrol leader in my Boy Scout troop, which basically means that I am responsible for almost everything in the troop. We have been having a standard meeting until I notice a woman with her daughter, around 17 or so, come into our meeting place. I think that they are simply the parents and sibling of one of our members, so I think nothing of it until the meeting closes and everyone packs up to go home.)

Woman: *marches over to me* “I want my daughter to join your Boy Scout troop.”

Me: *flabbergasted* “Wait, what? You–“

Woman: “Exactly what I said. I want my daughter to join your Boy Scout troop.”

Me: “Um, I don’t think that is physically possible unless you know, your child gets, I don’t know, a gender switch?”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “You know, when someone doesn’t want to be a specific gender and they want to change—“

Woman: “I know exactly what a gender switch is, but that was nothing to do with that. I just want my daughter to join your Boy Scout troop.”

Me: *completely done by this point* “Uh, you know what the ‘Boy’ in ‘Boy Scout’ stands for, right?”

Woman: *blank stare*

Me: “Miss, are you—“

Woman: *irate* “This is unacceptable. I demand to see your superior.”

Me: “Uh, sure.”

(I call over my Scoutmaster. The woman is absolutely nuts at this point, tearing her own hair and hitting the walls while my Scoutmaster tries to calm her down. I start packing up my own things so I can go home.)

Woman: *screaming now* “THIS IS SEXIST. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WON’T LET MY DAUGHTER JOIN YOUR BOY SCOUT PATROL!”

(My Scoutmaster is a retired Marine and is very proficient in martial arts. The woman SWINGS at my Scoutmaster.)

Woman: “LET MY DAUGHTER JOIN! LET MY—“

(My Scoutmaster instinctively blocks the attack and, after a quick tussle, ends up on top of her while pinning her arms underneath her, making it impossible for her to move. Everyone is staring at her. One of the parents, who is a cop, walks over.)

Cop Parent: “All right, [Scoutmaster], no need to strain your back. I got it from here.”

Me: *to the 17-year-old girl* “Was she actually serious?”

Girl: “Yeah, she thought I was useless around the house despite being the only one in our family working, so she wanted me to join Boy Scouts. What a f****** moron.”

(Best part? The girl and I realized we went to the same high school and we started hitting it off. The second best part? When the woman showed up to court for attempted assault and disturbance of the peace, her daughter said, in front of her, “Frankly, she was always overzealous about other’s actions, but never considered her own. Personally, I think she deserves it.”)


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