They Didn’t Meet The Bar (Mitzvah)

My bar mitzvah is coming up. In my synagogue, capacity is limited right now. I want to invite my best friend and his family. I am super tight with his family and we’re basically brothers; we’ve been friends since kindergarten. My mom is talking with my great aunt about it over the phone.

Great Aunt: “Oh, that means that you have three spots if [Best Friend] and his family don’t come, and since they’re not family, [Great Aunt’s Daughter] and her two daughters should come, instead.”

Mom: “What? We don’t even talk to them that much anymore. Why should they come instead of [My Name]’s best friend and his family?”

Great Aunt: “The girls haven’t gone out in sooooooo long, and they would love to see [My Name] becoming a man.”

Mom: “They can watch over video call like the other 100 people who can’t come due to the health crisis.”

Great Aunt: “This isn’t fair! My babies are more important than your stupid kid’s best friend and his family.”

Mom: “Fine. They can all come if they get the vaccine.”

Great Aunt: “What?! Vaccines cause cancer and autism! Everyone is lying about the crisis! It’s fake!”

Mom: “Okay. If that’s how you feel about it, you won’t have a problem with them not coming.” *Hangs up*