They Didn’t Cover THAT In Potions

(I work weekends in a novelty store which has a very strong Harry Potter, fairy tale, magical, old-school turn of the century boutique, theme. Sounds confusing, but customers find it fun. Basically our store looks like any shop out of Diagon Alley, minus the actual magic. Our store mostly sells bath salts, handmade soaps, some books, and stationery like notebooks, pencils and such. Our store sign has the big company name with “Apothecary to the Magical” underneath. It’s all part of the fairy tale theme we have running. So many customers seem to see the word “Apothecary” which is an old word for chemist (pharmacy) and seem to stop reading there. We get at least one person a day asking about remedies for back problems, or travel sickness, even though one look around the store would make them realise we aren’t that kind of store. A customer walks in, perhaps late fifties, or early sixties in age, and walks up to my young coworker. I’m nearby setting up a display.)

Coworker: “Hi, welcome to [Store].”

Customer: “Hi.” *speaks low, but I still hear* “Do you have anything that can help me get an erection.”

(Both I and Coworker freeze, unable to believe what we’re hearing.)

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Customer: *slightly louder* “Do you have anything that can help me get an erection?”

(Coworker turns tomato red and I’m covering my mouth to stifle laughter.)

Customer: *oblivious to our reactions* “I don’t trust any of them blue pills from doctors; something natural and herbal has gotta be better.”

(My coworker wishes she could vanish right now, and I’d love to step in and help but I’m doubled over trying not to laugh.)

Customer: “So, you got something to help with an erection?”

Coworker: *still bright red* “No. No, we don’t.” *goes on to explain how we’re a novelty store and the word “Apothecary” is all part of the theme*

Customer: *looks around, finally noticing the bath salts, notebooks, etc..* “So, nothing to—”

Coworker: “No! No, sir… Sorry?”

Customer: “Okay.” *walks out of store*

(I turn to coworker, still stifling laughter.)

Me: “Wow, that was awkward.”