They Did Themselves Dirty
A customer storms up to me and throws an opened sack of dirt on the floor. Some of it spills out, making a mess.
Customer: “This dirt is s***!”
Me: *Ignoring the mess.* “Are you having issues with your soil, sir?”
Customer: “D*** right! I want a refund! I got twenty more sacks for you to take off my truck!”
Me: “What’s the reason for the refund?”
Customer: “Nothing f****** grew!”
This customer is raising his voice so my manager comes over and starts asking him questions:
Manager: “What did you try to grow?”
Customer: “Fruits and vegetables!”
Manager: “What fertilizer did you use?”
Customer: “What fertilizer! It’s supposed to grow in the dirt, ain’t it?”
Manager: “How often did you water it?”
Customer: “What water? It rained!”
Manager: “It’s the middle of a heatwave and we’re in a drought. I don’t remember any rain for the last two weeks.”
Customer: “The sack said this dirt has nutrients! Those should have fed it!”
Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s unreasonable to assume your issues are to do with the quality of our product when you failed to maintain even the most basic upkeep of your plants.”
Customer: “It’s not unreasonable!”
Manager: “Sir, we cannot accept this return.”
Customer: “Do I look like someone who is trying to be unreasonable?!”
Manager: “You look like someone who is trying to return dirt because you didn’t know plants need water.”
The customer grunts, storms off, and leaves all his opened sacks of soil on our parking lot. He must have scooped up all the soil and placed them back in the sacks to do this, which is crazy, but not as crazy as the amount he’s likely to be fined for the illegal dumping of waste we reported him to the police for.
