They Can’t Even Hunt Down The Money Counter

I’m waiting for my flight early on a Saturday morning at a small regional airport. I’m pretty early, and most of the early weekend flights are outbound, so I’ve found a seat in the nice quiet arrivals area and settled down to read. The area is pretty deserted except for me and two or three airport staff. I’m across from the Foreign Exchange counter, which has a bright yellow frontage and which, according to the sign, opens at 09:30.

It is 09:02 when the first inbound passengers arrive. It’s two middle-aged American men in jeans and bulky camouflage jackets, probably here to hunt.

Hunter #1: *Yelling to [Hunter #2].* “I need to exchange dollars.”

Hunter #2: *Also yelling.* “Is there a counter?”

They are standing in front of it. One of the nearby airport staff says:

Staff: “It’s right behind you, sir.”

Hunter #1: *Yelling to [Hunter #2].* “I don’t understand what she’s saying.”

He turns back to the staffer and half-yells:

Hunter #1: “I have to exchange dollars! Can I do that?”

Staff: “The counter opens at half-past nine and they will be able to help you.

It’s important to note the local accent doesn’t roll R’s or flatten vowels, so “counter” is “countah” and “past” has a long ‘a’, but her accent isn’t thick and she’s speaking slowly.

Hunter #2: *To [Hunter #1].* “What is she saying?”

Hunter #1: *Loudly and slowly.* “Can I exchange dollars? I… have… American… dollars… to… exchange!”

Staff: “Yes, sir, but the counter opens at half-past.”

Hunter #2: *Still yelling.* “Where is the exchange?”

Staff: “Over here, sir.”

Hunter #1: “I have to exchange American dollars. Can I do that? Does anyone here speak English? I want to exchange American dollars!”

Staff: *Who must have been developing a headache.* “Yes, sir, you can, but only at half-past nine, so you will have to wait until then.”

Hunter #1: *Bawling.* “I don’t understand what you’re saying!”

Hunter #2: *Steps in.* “He—” *Points to his friend.* “—wants to exchange American dollars, USD, and he wants to know where he can do that!”

The staffer hits the wall. She’s over it. Silently, she points to the ForEx counter that is two steps away. Then she turns away and goes back to what she was doing before they arrived.

Hunter #1: *Muttering to [Hunter #2].* “Service around here is terrible.”