They Are Infinitely Clueless

(It’s a running joke in the tattoo parlor where I work that customers don’t want to tell us what tattoo they want. This happens almost daily.)

Me: “Hello! [Shop], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. Uh, I want to get a tattoo.”

Me: “Wonderful! What kind of tattoo were you thinking of getting?”

Caller: “Just something small.”

Me: “All right. What kind of image were you thinking of?”

Caller: “Just, like, a little symbol.”

Me: “Any symbol in particular?”

Caller: “Like, a little symbol, just on my shoulder.”

Me: “Okay… What kind of symbol would you like?”

Caller: “Like, a little symbol, on my shoulder; how much would that cost?”

Me: “Well, that’ll depend on what kind of symbol you want for your tattoo, and how small you want it to be.”

Caller: “Well, like just a small, little symbol.”

Me: *face buried in hands* “Are we thinking about the size of a business card, the size of a quarter? Do you have a ruler, so you can check?”

Caller: “I want it, just… little. How much would that be?”

Me: “That depends; what kind of symbol do you want us to permanently tattoo on your body?”

Caller: “Do you guys know, like, the little sideways eights? How much for one of them?”

Me: *screaming internally*