They Are At That Wonderful Tormenting Age

(I am somewhere around three years old. I have a brother who is four and a half years older than I and has always been a bit of a jerk toward me.)

Mom: *washing dishes and looking out the window over the sink to see my brother running, panicked, across her view of the yard* “What’s going on?!”

(As soon as he is out of her view, I come toddling/running through carrying a 2×4 that is supposedly twice as long as I am tall and I am swinging it ferociously.)

Mom: *opens the window and yells* “[Brother]! STOP TORMENTING YOUR SISTER!”