They Always Come Out At Night

, , , , | Right | May 26, 2020

It’s about two in the morning, and I’m in the only open human checkout lane at the local twenty-four-hour grocery store. At this time of day, you sometimes meet interesting people. A woman suddenly comes up to the man behind me, laughing hysterically.

Woman: “You ever meet someone who’s high on life?”

The man does not respond.

Woman: “I’ve never done drugs. I just had a couple of cocktails, but I ain’t even a heroin addict, and I’m still having fun!”

Man: “Well, that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

The woman walks away, still laughing hysterically. A couple of minutes later, she comes back and approaches the same man.

Woman: “You’re still standing here?!”

The customer in front of me and I both have very full carts.

Woman: “I finished all my shopping.”

She shouts at the cashier like she thinks she won’t be heard otherwise.

Woman: “Can I use the self-checkout?!”

Cashier: “Um, yes.”

The woman takes her groceries to the self-checkout.

Woman: “I’m gonna stop laughing, because everyone keeps looking at me like I’m a maniac. I’m just here to buy a gift for… for a friend? That’s all I’m here for. That’s all I’m here for!”

She is suddenly angry.

Woman: “Now, I know the owner, and [Name], so don’t f*** with me!”

No one is “f***ing with her.” They are all ignoring her, in fact.

Woman: “I used to work here when I was in high school! BUT I GUESS NO ONE CARES! HUH?!”

You are absolutely right, lady. No one cares.

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