These Seats Are Mine Because I Did The Time

(Opening night for new movies is extremely busy. Lines start forming an hour before the movie starts. My friends and I go to see a new movie, stand in line for 90 minutes, and get our perfect seats – back center. As the theater fills up, people coming in start asking others to move over so they can sit together.)

New Guy: “Can you guys move over so we can sit together?”

Me: “No.”

New Guy: “Excuse me?”

Me: “There’s plenty of open seats. If you want to sit together, sit somewhere else.”

(The guy walks away and comes back a few minutes later with an usher and a smug smile.)

Usher: “Sir, could you please move over so these people can sit together?”

Me: “Sure. Just give me a gift card to cover the cost of my and my friends’ tickets.”

Usher: “What?”

Me: “We got here an hour and half early to get these seats. If you want us to move, then refund us the cost of our tickets. Otherwise, this guy who walked in 10 minutes before the movie starts can sit somewhere else.”

Usher: *turns to the other customer* “Sir, there are plenty of other seats to choose from in the theater.”