These Pants And I Have Reached A Draw

I run a swim shop. I had a middle-aged gentleman come in shopping for a pair of jammers — compression shorts-style swimsuits for men. He kept coming out of the dressing room to grab the next size up. He was getting more and more frustrated each time he came out. I would be, too, if I started looking at a waist size thirty-four and was suddenly looking in the size forty bin.

Finally, he huffed and said:

Customer: “Where the h*** are your men’s sizes?! None of these will go up my thighs! I swear my pants are a waist size thirty-four.”

I glanced at the jammer in his hand.

Me: “Have you been remembering to untie the drawstring before you try and put the suit on?”