These Guys Are The Wurst Virgins

I work at a German-style beer hall with a pretty authentic Biergarten. Very early one evening, a group of guys in their twenties come into our Biergarten and sit down. They are lively and already a bit drunk. It soon becomes clear that they are a stag night group.

Male Coworker: *Sighing* “Well, any of you ladies want to switch sections with me? I doubt the bachelors will be thrilled to have a male server, and I am sure it will guarantee you all a good tip.”

Even though I am not a fan of bachelor groups, I volunteer since my section is still empty. I get them their beer orders and hand them some menus. A lot of the names of the dishes are authentic or near-authentic German dish names, which make them difficult for some to pronounce. I am a proficient German speaker, so I pronounce the dish names correctly.

Me: “So, gents, can I get you anything to eat?”

Drunk Patron #1: “I’ll have the Wiener Schnitzel.”

Drunk Patron #2: “Um, uh, what’s the Wasyoumacallit?”

I lean over to see where he is pointing.

Me: “Oh, the Würstlteller? It’s a platter with three different kinds of wurst—”

Drunk Patron #2: “Virgin Teller? Oh, my God, I will definitely have the Virgin Teller!”

Me: “Are you sure? Not everyone likes wurst—”

Drunk Patron #2: “Yes, yes, I want the Virgin Teller!”

He shouts to his friend across the table.

Drunk Patron #2: “Hey, buddy! Get the Virgin Teller!”

Drunk Patron #3: “I want the Virgin Teller, too!”

Drunk Patron #4: “I’ll have the Virgin Teller!”

Eight out of the ten guys at the table all order the same dish, barely reading the description and just going off on the mispronounced name of the dish. Part of me wants to speak more reason to them since most of our patrons typically end up not liking the wurst, but it is our second-most-expensive dish, so I figure that I can earn a better tip off of their drunken misunderstanding. 

When their meal comes out, another coworker and I put the dishes in front of the patrons. Most of them look confused about their meals.

Drunk Patron #3: *Looking disappointed* “I didn’t order this, did I?”

Me: “Yes, it’s the Virgin Teller. Enjoy!”

And yes, I did get an amazing tip from the whole fiasco.