These Forms Are To Be Signed With Blood

| Working | September 29, 2015

(My job consists of handling subcontracts for my company. Typically the customers require a lot of documents before giving the go-ahead, including our workers’ training certificates, vaccination cards, and so on. One day I receive this call…)

Caller: “Good morning, this is [Customer Company]. We’ll need the DNA from one of your workers.”

Me: “Uhm. First, is this even legal, and second, how am I supposed to send it to you?”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “How do I get DNA from our worker, provided that he allows me to do that, and how do I physically transfer it to you?”

Caller: “You can download it from the Employment Office website, fill in with your worker’s details, and send it via email or fax.”

(The penny drops…)

Me: “Oh, so you’re telling me DNA is a form?”

Caller: “Sure, it’s the (Italian for: Declaration of New Hiring)… Wait, you thought we wanted actual DNA from the guy?”

Me: “It wouldn’t be the strangest request I’ve had.”

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