Sibling Rivalry Is Relative

(I am male and three years younger than my older sister, though both of us are in our 30s. We are shopping for a gift to purchase for our parents for Christmas.)

Cashier: “Are you two related?”

Sister: “Yes, we are. He is my brother.”

Cashier: “Oh!” *points to me* “You must be the older one!”

Sister: “Ha! She said you look old!”

Cashier: “Oh, no! I didn’t mean that.

Me: *to my sister* Don’t worry, she just meant that you act too immature for people to think you are 36.”

Cashier: “No, wait! I didn’t mean that either!”

Sister: “It’s okay, you can admit it. He looks really old for 33.”

Cashier: “But, I…I’m sorry.”

Me: “No need to be sorry, we all know my sister is really immature.”

Cashier: “I swear, I didn’t mean that!”

Sister: “It’s okay, really. He looks horrible for his age.”

(The cashier realizes we have been having fun with her and smiles.)

Cashier: “Okay, I understand. I’m glad I’m an only child. This was really confusing!”

Sister: “Want my brother? He’s only slightly used!”

Me: “Or, you could take my sister. She should be house-trained by now.”

Cashier: *giggles* “I’ll just hand you your receipt instead.”

Sister: *takes receipt* “Have a nice day! Let me know if you change your mind on a slightly used 33 year-old male! Only one previous owner!”

Me: “Or a semi-house trained female! I have her papers!”