These Cupcakes Were A Steal

(For reasons I can’t contemplate, we hired a woman during Christmas time even though we suspected she stole from our store and knew she was fired from a previous job for stealing, as well. Since then, she has repeatedly used her associate discount even though she doesn’t work for our company anymore. A couple of days ago, she began complaining of chest pain, so we called an ambulance for her. Today…)

Me: “Hey, what are these cupcakes for?”

Coworker: “Those are from that lady we called the ambulance for. She wanted to say thank you for responding so quickly and making sure she was taken care of.”

Me: “You’d think she could say thank you by not stealing from us all the time.”