These Boots Were Not Just Made For Walking

, , , , , | Friendly | August 1, 2018

(I’m having lunch with my dad and my girlfriend.)

Dad: “So, how is the wedding planning going?”

Me: “Pretty well.”

Girlfriend: “We found two super cute dresses for a great price, and my uncle said his firm can supply the food.”

(A man in the booth next to us suddenly turns and glares at us.)

Man: “Would you two [slurs] shut up already? I’m trying to eat!”

Dad: “Mind your own d*** business, or you’ll have my footprint tattooed on your a**.”

Man: “Who do you think you are, old man? I’m going to break your [slur]-loving face.”

Dad: “I’m a father first and foremost, but I’m also a retired police officer.”

(This caused the man to go snow white. He sheepishly paid for his half-eaten meal and left. Dad acted like nothing happened for the rest of the day.)

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