These Are The Friends You Are Looking For

(Some friends and I are hanging out and talking in the student center as it gets close to closing time. One of them, the only guy, checks his phone and notices it’s almost dead.)

Friend #1: “Does anyone have their iPhone charger? I’m at two percent.”

Friend #2: *hold up phone* “Droid.”

Me: “Droid.”

Friend #3: “Droid.”

Friend #1: *mildly frustrated* “Effin’ droids.”

Me: “We are not the droids you’re looking for.”

(Friend #2 starts laughing while Friend #1 jokingly points to the door.)

Friend #1: “Get out.”

Friend #2: *still laughing* “No, she stays.”

Friend #1: “Out.”

Friend #2: “Stay.”

Friend #3: “She can stay. I’m the tie-breaker.”

Me: “Case closed. Bring in the dancing lobsters.”

Friend #3: “Okay, now you actually can stay.”