There’s A Slight Baby Bump In That Diagnosis

, | Healthy | December 28, 2017

(I am a female in my late 20s. I was in a serious car accident after which some of my organs were damaged and some had to be removed. As a result I am on a cocktail of drugs to keep me functioning. I’ve gone to the doctor’s office as I have been suffering from dizzy spells and sickness, which could be problems with my current medication. I don’t get my usual doctor but this doctor — who is male — seems fairly friendly. He’s asking me questions about what I’m experiencing and is making notes. He has asked about my medication as well, which I’ve told him about, including my hormone replacement ones, but doesn’t ask me why and I don’t volunteer that information.)

Me: “Will I need to come back for tests?”

Doctor: “You won’t. I know what’s wrong”

Me: *somewhat glad* “Oh, really? Is it [Medication Brand]? I was warned—”

Doctor: *shaking his head but smiling warmly* “Oh, no, no, no. Nothing serious. In fact quite a happy diagnosis! You’re pregnant!”

(There’s a pause, whilst he grins at me and I feel myself getting irritated.)

Me: “That’s impossible.”

(He gives me a funny look and gets snappy.)

Doctor: “You’re using something that boosts probability to get pregnant, and you’re shocked. Birth control methods like condoms aren’t 100%, and if you didn’t want to get pregnant I’d suggest you got a coil, which is a bit late now.”

Me: “Did you even look at my notes?”

Doctor: “I don’t need to look to know what this is. Dizziness and sickness are common during early pregnancy.”

Me: “If you did, you’ll see the hormone therapy is because I no longer have my reproductive system.”

(He goes very quiet and turns to his computer.)

Doctor: “There’s a slot open in a fortnight for blood draw. Same time but on Wednesday. Is that okay?”

Me: “Fine.”

(I didn’t get an apology from him. The tests did show that one of my medications is thinning my blood, so with a few tweaks I was feeling okay again. I didn’t get, though, why doctors have full notes but don’t consult them before making a diagnosis. I never wanted kids so I was more annoyed than anything but some would have been devastated with that gaff.)

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