There’s No Vaccine For Idiocy

Like many other theaters, my theater has closed due to the outbreak. Staff members are still working our final scheduled shifts, though we are mainly focusing on cleaning, throwing out food that will expire, etc.

We aren’t open to the public and have notices on our doors explaining that we aren’t open. At around 7:00 pm, I hear frenzied knocking and see a frustrated man standing at the door. I walk over and crack the door open.

Me: “Um… can I help you?”

Customer: “[Movie] is opening tonight, and I wanna see it! Let me in! Why would you have the doors locked?!”

Me: “I apologize, but the theater is indefinitely closed due to the—”

Customer: “Bulls***! [Movie] comes out tonight!”

Me: “Sir, not only are we not open, but the studio pulled [Movie] from their release schedule. It likely won’t be out for several months, if not next year.”  

Customer: “But I saw a few weeks ago that [Movie] opened tonight!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you, [Movie] is not coming out tonight.”

Customer: “You’re not gonna let me in?!”

Me: “No, sir, I can’t let you in as we are not open and likely won’t be back open for several months.”

Customer: “Pfft! Good luck staying in business if you aren’t even gonna let people in to see movies!”

He stormed away. Of course, the last customer I dealt with before we closed down was an idiot. I just hope I don’t see him again once we reopen… whenever that may be.