There’s No Sugar-Coating Some Stupidity

(I work in a cafe and bar that is attached to a movie theater. On this evening, we are somewhat slammed due to a highly anticipated movie release. While I am working the bar I overhear a conversation.)

Customer #1: “I need to return these fries.”

Coworker #1: “Of course. What was wrong with them, ma’am?

Customer #1: “There’s too much sugar!”

(Both of my co-workers just stare blankly for a few seconds.)

Coworker #2: “Did you mean, there’s too much salt?”

Customer #1: “No! Sugar! There’s too much sugar on these fries! I want salt!”

Coworker #1: “Let me replace your order for you, ma’am…”

(At this point, many of the customers at the bar and I are struggling to not laugh out loud. While my coworker tries to explain to the cooks exactly what’s going on, the customer moves out of the way for the person next-in-line.)

Customer #2: *sarcastically* “I want an order of your fries, and, for the love of all that is good: No. Sugar. Please. No. Sugar!”

(Many of the customers lose it at this point. All of a sudden, we hear a cook scream out to our waitresses.)

Cook: “We don’t even have sugar in the kitchen! Why would we have sugar?! Nothing we make has sugar! On top of that, WHO PUTS SUGAR ON FRIES?!”

(I couldn’t get my fist in my mouth in time to stop my laughter. The best part was, the customer in question never even noticed any of this happening!)